You Are Right Where You Need to Be

It is so hard sometimes to stay focused on the one thing in front of you. There is always a long list—either actual or mental—of things that need to be done, emails that need to be sent, people that need to be cared for. And sometimes it’s not the actual things that need to be done but instead simply the planning for all of the things that will eventually or might at some point need to be done. I’ve heard this called “mental load”—the cognitive effort it takes to managing everything going on in your life, from work to relationships, maintaining a house to managing a family.

When we started the flower farm, there were always so many things to do.  But there were also so many things to take care of at home. And then, of course, there was my full-time job which is technically a Monday through Friday job but inevitably bled into the weekends. It was very easy to feel guilty being out in the flower beds when there were bathrooms that needed to be cleaned or work emails that needed to be responded to.

But committing to starting a flower farm meant giving myself permission to be present in what I needed to be doing. For example, this past weekend I was pulling out snapdragons and calendula, to begin getting beds ready for cool season flowers. I was also thinking about the grocery shopping that needed to be done, the girl scout meeting I said I would prepare for, and the report for work that was due on Monday. I consciously stopped and stood up and said to myself “you are exactly where you need to be right now.” It didn’t mean the other things weren’t important or didn’t need to get done.  But at that moment, for that time, I was doing exactly what I needed to be doing and I was right where I needed to be.